China's Problem
by 1292 Negative Calculate
Summary: Oneshot, humor.  China comes to the other nations with a strange problem...  Hope you enjoy it!


**China's Birds**

By: Danny Pic

* * *

Hey there! First time writing in this series, so be gentle.

Ok, so um…yeah, this idea actually came to me when I was helping a friend figure out some ideas with her own story. She told me a bit about the characters, and I thought it was interesting.

…And it just so happens that she told me about this when the February issue of National Geographic came out. And these two factors combined in my head, giving birth…to this fanfic.

I don't own _Hetalia_: _Axis_ _Powers_. Nor do I own the great beasts that came long before…  
…Enjoy!

* * *

"Um, guys?"

Everyone turned to see a very worried-looking China walking towards them. "China?" America asked, "You seem uneasy. What's wrong?"

"Ugh," China sighed, "I am uneasy. I've got a serious problem on my hands. Could you please help out a fellow nation?"

America was a bit suspicious, as China didn't usually come asking for help so readily; however, he could tell that this was a serious situation. Russia was genuinely concerned, even if it didn't show, and he was willing to help out the older country…even if he didn't want his help. Japan was sitting in the corner, listening to his MP3 player, while Canada was reading a magazine article. Britain and France were curious as to their cook's problem, but even more curious as to what America's solution would be.

"Well, dude, I don't know exactly what we could do to help…" America replied honestly, "but we'll help if we can. What's the problem?"

China sighed in relief, and breathed out, "Oh, thank you!" He then straightened up and continued, "Well, I'm sure you've all read about how I found dinosaurs in my backyard, right?"

"Dinosaurs?" asked a confused Poland. "When did that happen?"

The other countries, including America, gasped collectively at Poland's remark. America was incredulous; "How could you not know?" he asked. "It was all over the news, for crying out loud! China was looking around that limestone quarry he lives nearby, and he found a bunch of these strange fossils! Turns out, it had a complete record of many animals that lived in the Age of dinosaurs, millions of years ago! But the most interesting thing is that a lot of the dinosaurs found there were covered in _feathers_! That one site has completely rewritten our understanding of dinosaurs!"

"I know," Germany added sadly. "It was even more amazing than the fossil bird I found…"  
"Aw," replied Italy, hugging his serious-minded friend, "I think that bird you found, um…arkee…arkee –"

"– _Archaeopteryx_," corrected Germany.  
"Right, that," Italy said, smiling. "I still think that was an awesome find!"

"Don't touch me," Germany replied coldly; Italy quickly let go and backed off, realizing he wasn't in a good mood.

"And it's not just that," America continued, as if Germany had never interrupted. "They've also found evidence that a lot of famous dinosaurs, like T-Rex, might've been born with feathers!"

"And of course," added Canada, who looked up momentarily from his article, "we're all forgetting about the _other_ important finds there, like that dinosaur-eating mammal that was recently found."

"It's completely changed Paleontology!" America said. "How could you _not_ know about something that big?"

"I'm sorry," Poland sadly answered. "I've been kinda busy lately…I haven't had time to check the news."

"If we could get back on track, please?" Britain asked, frowning at the other gossiping nations. He turned to the all-but-forgotten China and asked, "So what's the problem, China?"

"They won't leave me alone…" China quietly answered, looking towards the ground.  
There was a long pause…

…followed by an innocent voice that asked, "…who, the dinosaurs?"

China nodded, looking up with a troubled expression on his face. "Ever since I found them, they've been following me around and trying to take things away from me. I was working on cooking decorative cakes for you all to eat on Valentine's Day; but after I left them for a minute, they had all been eaten! It's gotten to the point where I can't get anything done, because they keep following me! I can't face my boss and tell him that I didn't get the paper done on time because _a dinosaur ate it_! Please help!"

"Woah, woah, now hold on," Germany said, suppressing a laugh. "You're – you know that dinosaurs are extinct, right? As in _dead for millions of years_? How could they be disrupting your…work…"

Germany stopped, staring in shock, along with all the other countries, at something that had just appeared behind China's leg. There, standing about as tall as a dog, was a small dromaeosaur – a raptor. It was small, made chirruping sounds like some strange raven, and most spectacular of all – it was covered in colorful plumage. Its body was bright blue, with purple spots on the feathered arms, with brilliant yellow feathers on the crown of its head, and gray underneath.

The colorful raptor had grabbed the bottom edge of China's shirt, and was tugging it like a dog would a chew toy. China abruptly turned, and yelled in surprise, making the birdlike reptile jump back and caw in surprise as well. China groaned out in frustration, and cried out at the dinosaur, "I've already told you, I don't have any food! Now leave me alone, please!"

The dinosaur squawked behind it; another raptor, this one more drab-colored, came out and joined the first one. China turned toward the other nations, a pleading look on his face, and whispered, "Help me, please?"

America was the first one to recover from shock. He nodded determinedly, and proudly said, "Don't worry! I know just what to do! I'll go ask Tony!" And with that, he bolted off.

Britain was sweating nervously; "Uh," he commented, "I don't think I can do much with those. Prehistoric creatures aren't something I usually encounter."  
France was hiding behind him, and added, "For once, _moisissure_, you and I are in agreement." And the two of them began to back away slowly and quietly.

China turned to Japan, and asked, "Japan? Anything?"  
Japan looked up and answered, "Keep looking, pal."

China saw everyone backing away, first slowly, but getting faster. Desperately, he called out, "W-Wait! I-I thought we were friends! I could cook you all a big dinner as thanks! Oh!-Oh, wait! What about your Valentine's candy? DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!"

But it was too late; they had already long gone.

China slowly turned, to see that he was surrounded by more than ten of the small raptors. He backed up against a wall, and watched as the little reptiles drew closer, and closer…

"…n-nice birdy?"

.

* * *

So, now that you've read the story, I have to tell you an important fact that will make what you just read make total sense…

I have never seen this series. Ever.

That's right, you heard me. I've never watched _Hetalia: Axis Powers_ in my whole life. In fact, I never even heard of it until this week. (_For those who are reading this in the future, I mean the same week as I posted it online._) The only way I heard it was from that sweet friend of mine whom I mentioned earlier; she told me the basics about the series, and from that, I made this story.

So, as I said, I made this without knowing anything about the characters or the series. So, as a result, there may be some OCC-ness which you've noticed. I figure this shouldn't matter too much, since this is a humor fanfic. However, if there's anybody there who doesn't like what I've done, please forgive me. I promise, when/if I decide to write another fanfic for this series, I promise to do some research next time.


End file.
